Once upon a time, in a cozy apartment high above the city, there lived a tiny Maltese named Snowball and his very ambitious human, Mia.
Snowball was the fluffiest, most pampered dog in the building. He had his own velvet bed, a wardrobe of sweaters, and a collection of toys that could fill a small pet store. But there was one thing Mia secretly dreamed of: never having to pick up poop again.
One rainy afternoon, while scrolling through videos of impossibly clever dogs, Mia saw it—a clip of a tiny pup climbing stairs to use an actual human toilet. Her eyes widened. “Snowball,” she whispered, “we’re doing this.”
Snowball, who was busy napping on a sunbeam that wasn’t even there, opened one eye and gave her the most skeptical look a six-pound dog could manage.
Training began the next day.
First came the stairs. Mia built a bright orange-and-white ramp that curved gently up to the toilet like a royal staircase. Snowball sniffed it, walked up two steps, then promptly turned around and trotted back down to pee on Mia’s favorite rug—just to make his opinion clear.
Mia didn’t give up. She tried treats, praise, clickers, and even playing dramatic music every time Snowball got near the bathroom. Weeks passed. The rug suffered. Snowball remained unimpressed.
Then came the breakthrough.
One midnight, Mia woke up to strange scratching sounds. Half-asleep, she shuffled to the bathroom and froze. There was Snowball, standing proudly on the metal grate she’d installed over the toilet bowl, tail wagging like a fluffy metronome. He looked over his shoulder at her as if to say, “Took you long enough to catch up.”
He finished his business perfectly, hopped down the stairs, and pranced straight to his treat jar, staring at it expectantly.
Mia screamed with joy (quietly, because it was 3 a.m.), showered him with treats, and immediately filmed the whole thing. The video exploded online. Millions watched the tiny white fluff conquer the porcelain throne. Comments poured in: “This is peak pet ownership,” “I’m crying,” “My dog can’t even sit and this one has a bathroom routine better than mine.”
Snowball became an internet sensation overnight. Brands sent him tiny crowns and custom toilet-shaped beds (which he ignored). Fans started calling him “King Snowball of the Porcelain Kingdom.”
But fame didn’t change him. Every day, without fail, he’d trot up his little orange stairs, do what needed to be done, then come back down like it was the most normal thing in the world.
And Mia? She never had to pick up poop again.
She did, however, have to explain to every visitor why there was a bright orange dog staircase in her bathroom.
Snowball just sat nearby, looking smug, as if to say: “Humans. So slow to evolve.”
The end. 🐾🚽